


The Walk Home

by natascha_ronin



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 09:53:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6465697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natascha_ronin/pseuds/natascha_ronin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Missing scenes from The Brothers Jones</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Walk Home

Lucky for Killian he knew his way back from the journey there. 

Paying attention to your surroundings with a bag over your head wasn’t easy, but it had happened to him too many times. He counted the number of paces (2,382 – just a little over a mile), the scent around him (always brimstone, but more pungent the lower into the hellfire they went), and the direction he was steered in (right, then left, then veering slightly southeast), and the sounds (underground, the sounds were hollow and above, they were carried by the sulfurous breeze). 

Funny, that. A breeze in Hell.

He stayed at the bridge as long as he dared, watching his brother and the sailors depart until they were at the ship. Tears streamed unchecked down his face, catching in his beard and tickling his chin. He knew he should leave. Hades was likely to catch him unaware. He waited until the light started to fade, the cave became almost dim, and gave one last look over his shoulder at the sailors standing on the yard, clewing down the main topsail, hauling taut the lee lower lift. He closed his eyes and breathed in. For a moment, he could smell the sea air and felt a longing for the sea. When he opened his eyes, nobody waved, he doubted they even saw him, and he walked back to the entryway to ascend the stairs. 

He felt a bit numb after sharing a final moment with Liam after all these years. In truth, Killian had hardly remembered his face when he appeared at Emma’s door. Hundreds of years made his memories of faces from his youth murky, but after a second of disbelief and recognition, he felt twenty-one years old again. Sitting at the kitchen table with his brother and the woman he loved felt surreal – in fact, the whole day felt that way. From his conversation with Liam after Emma left for the loft to roaming around in the caves of the Underworld looking for a way out. Just where was that bloody exit? Damned Silver.

He paused to catch his breath and glanced around. A torch on the wall told him he was close to the mines. He remembered catching his right shoulder on a corner on his way down, and looked to his left down a shaft. He headed that way, marking the wall with his hook in case he got lost. He wished Emma were here, or her mother, far better navigators on land than he was. However, he was grateful for the time to reflect on the moments he spent with his brother, even if they were painful. This morning’s conversation was still fresh in his mind.

_“Well, we should get going to my parents’ place if we’re going to find that book,” Emma said, standing up. Killian nodded and made to stand as well. “No, you sit here and catch up with your brother. Meet me there?”_

_“That sounds grand.” Liam looked up at her and gave her a smile. “I’d love the opportunity to catch up with my glamorous little brother.” He turned his gaze back to Killian, licked his lips and smirked, circling his eyes with his finger._

_“I won’t take the bait.” He gave his brother a pointed look and a wink, but rubbed at the kohl around his right eye, and then looked back up to Emma as she donned her jacket. They still had to continue their earlier discussion, but the impromptu family reunion and the new revelation about the story book put their argument on hold for the moment. It was always something with them. Some crisis, someone who needed saving – him or her – and he felt the weight of her stare as her eyes met his. He sighed and looked at her sorrowfully. “Thank you.”_

_She took a deep breath and held his eyes before looking down and away, then turned around and opened the door. She glanced back at him over her shoulder as she put on her hat and he looked away as the door closed. He bit his lip and gave Liam a tense smile._

_“Pardon me for asking, but is something amiss?” Liam asked, taking a sip of his water. “You two appeared to be quite intense when Emma answered the door; I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.”_

_“We were having a row, yes.” Killian sighed, running his hand over his face and looking up as he let it fall back onto his lap. “Emma and I were together up until a few weeks ago and we’ve had some serious issues pop up between us.”_

_“Oh?” Liam raised his eyebrows and sat back. “Well, I’m certain you can’t have done anything too terrible if she’s come here of all places to find you.”_

_“Well, it’s just that, I’m afraid.” Killian turned and placed his elbows on the table, stretching out his left arm. “I’m sure you noticed the absence of my left hand, brother?”_

_“Indeed,” Liam nodded at his hook, staring, “You want to divulge the mishap that led to that?”_

_“Long story short,” Killian chuckled mirthlessly, “I got involved with a man’s wife. That man, Rumpelstiltskin, later became the Dark One. During a fight where he took her life, he cut off my hand. That was about ten years after you died.”_

_“A married woman? The Dark One?” Liam sat back, sobered, “My dear brother, what sort of man have you become?”_

_Killian glared at his hook, running his thumbnail over the sharp edge._

_“The kind of man who spent centuries afterward seeking revenge on the Dark One, who murdered our father and battled his own darkness all that time.”_

_“Our father –“_

_“Yes, brother mine, our father.” Killian met his eyes and saw the pity there, the same shame he felt whenever he looked into the mirror. “In my quest to destroy the Dark One, I was introduced to him. I took his life to aid in my vengeance.”_

_“Why do I get the feeling that this story doesn’t have a happy ending?”_

_“Because it doesn’t,” Killian snorted and licked his bottom lip, “At least not my happy ending.” He thought of Emma and the fading dream of her laying him down on the grass by the pond, weeping over his dying form._

_“Brother,” Liam leaned forward and grasped his arm before letting go, “Whatever you’ve done can be forgiven.”_

_“That’s just the thing,” Killian near-whispered, “I don’t believe it can. I met Emma not long after father, and damn-near gave up on my revenge. In fact, for awhile, I believed I did. I was working to become a hero, a man worthy of someone such as herself, a man worthy of you.” He sucked in his lips and chewed on the inside._

_“And?” Liam pressed, “If she’s here for you, you must have done.”_

_“Aye, but before that, she took on the darkness from the Dark One to save everyone –me, her family, her friends, the whole town we lived in.” He looked down at his charms, dangling over the table. “I was mortally wounded during a fight against a treacherous king in Camelot, and Emma – in her own darkness – she somehow turned me into a Dark One to save me by tethering me to an enchanted sword.”_

_“Tethered you?”_

_“Yes, and I begged her not to. I went back into the darkness, that hatred, that thirst for revenge against the man who took my hand and Milah’s life.” He shook his head and looked back at Liam’s ashen face. “I killed the sorcerer, Merlin, to curse everyone back to the place I could find Rumpelstiltskin. I very nearly killed Emma’s entire family. In the end, I came to my senses when it was almost too late. I endangered everyone I love for revenge.”_

_Liam swallowed. His eyes were as wide as saucers._

_“I became the monster bent on revenge,” Killian pressed, “Emma came here because I sacrificed myself to save Emma’s family in the end – the family I endangered – after coming to my senses mere moments before they were to be sent here so I could flood the world with darkness.” He fisted his hand and pounded the table._

_“You sound as if you had a choice in the matter,” Liam narrowed his eyes and cocked his head, “but this sounds as if you were forced into this darkness you speak of.”_

_“I didn’t have a choice in that, no.” Liam opened his mouth to speak but Killian put up his hand to silence him. “I didn’t, but I did have a choice to succumb to it or not. I DID. That’s the sort of man I’ve become.”_

_“But that’s preposterous,” Liam shook his head, “You’re no more evil than the reckless boy I knew, and this lass should have known better than to push you into it after you fought against it for her.”_

_“Emma acted out of love and I understand that now.” He stood and picked up their glasses with his one hand, taking them over to the sink. He looked around at the plush animals and toys littering the sink. Damn, he was tired. His weakness cost Emma and her family so much. Emma couldn’t understand that he wasn’t the man she needed, the hero and champion who would always make the right decisions. He was a pirate, a scoundrel, a dead murderous thief who thought he could rise to her station and now his brother was here to witness the fallout of his ruin._

_This was not a happy ending. This was a tragic quandary that could only end with Emma where she belonged and Killian where he belonged. He belonged with the dead. Here, or with Liam, wherever that may be._

_He turned around and faced Liam, who sat staring at him in disbelief._

_“Brother, that’s quite the complicated life you’ve lived,” Liam pressed his palms on the table and stood up, walking over in front of him. Killian looked down and shuffled his feet. “But whatever you’ve done, you’re here now, and there’s no reason we can’t find this book and defeat Hades together. Like I said before, I’m with you to the end, whatever that may be.”_

_Killian looked up and met his brother’s blue eyes – mother’s eyes – and nodded. Liam’s steadfast support and discipline were what kept him from failing as a young man. Now, it seemed fitting that he should move on with his brother, instead of going back with Emma and her family. They would find a quiet moment and discuss this. She was stubborn, yes, but this was best for everyone, and surely the Savior would see that. She had her family, friends, the entire town. Killian had Liam, now, and that was the right course to take._

 

Killian could smell sulfur in the air, the decaying scent of rubbish and something he didn’t quite want to identify. He walked through the streets of the Underworld wondering how to tell Emma about all that had happened. She had been right, her superpower hadn’t failed her. His brother, who for so long stood on an unreachable pedestal in his memory, had done something so heinous he’d been here for hundreds of years. Killian didn’t often apologize, but he knew he would have to tell Emma he’d been wrong about Liam. Would she be angry with him? 

Gods above and below, he had so often been on the receiving end of Emma’s clemency. He shook his head as he neared the park close to the mansion. It didn’t escape his notice that nobody called it Merlin’s home. He swallowed and stopped to catch his breath. He recalled the look on her face when he had crushed Merlin’s heart. She had taken his memory of that – of being as vile and callous as to crush the heart of the man who encouraged him to express his love for her in Camelot. Merlin believed in the greater good, the hero’s journey. Killian looked down at his hand, the hand that had crushed Merlin’s heart, that had wielded Excalibur, that had caught an arrow aimed for his head. 

His only chance now was compassion. Emma had told him he had a mark in the hero column; her family was overjoyed to see him here and took the chance to come after him. Her mother had fussed over him; her father welcomed him back into the fold. Nobody treated him as if he was a villain. Even the Evil Queen had gotten through to him before he died. And Liam…

Liam, the brother who made a deal with the Devil himself to ensure Killian’s future. The brother who taught him a decent work ethic, whose stubbornness and self-righteousness cost him his life and hundreds of years in the Underworld. Liam was the most merciful of all in the end, and he had called Killian a hero. Heroes most certainly died, and honor bestowed death and glory upon them. In his mutiny, he sought to honor Liam and avenge his death. He always sought to be a man of honor, and even in his vengeance he wanted to honor Milah. Aye, it was twisted in anger and hatred, but it was there. 

Could he now choose to honor himself? Could he be devoted to a hero’s cause, to honor, for himself? 

He spent so long trying to champion everyone else’s cause that he lost sight of respect for himself. What kind of future could he have if he couldn’t forgive himself, couldn’t respect himself? There was no future in revenge for him anymore, and Liam had moved on. Milah was lost, his friends were trapped here, and he could lead the charge with Emma to defeat the being who was responsible. He could be a part of something. He could be grateful for their love and loyalty to him. He could have a future. 

He looked around at the shadows in the park, the lights from the mansion in the distance, the realm haunted by the dead with unfinished business. His only business here was to defeat Hades and then what? Then the future began. It might not be a picket fence life. It might be perilous adventure in another realm, separated from the woman he loves, but he would always come back to her – back to his home. Emma had given him that with her love and understanding.

He broke into a run. It was time to begin that future and then go home.


End file.
